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Whoa it’s been awhile

July 26, 2010

I haven’t posted since my digital art class finished and I wasn’t required to anymore. That’s not to say I haven’t been out and about in the blogosphere, but here in this transitional summer (between my fake graduation and my fifth-year scholarship) knowing when and what to write has been a complex, emotional, and usually private matter. Perhaps venting to the entire world, whether or not anyone reads this, will help to put it all out on the table.

1. I have been continually freaking out about the fact that I am supposed to do an Honors Thesis this year. But then while skimming across an encyclopedia of all things pregnancy for no reason (weird, I know) and reflecting on a recent visit to Binghamton I made with my dad, where we drove by the house my mom went through 2.5 out of the 3 days of laboring me, I realized I want to research home birthing, the midwife community and where America’s at when it comes to birth and medicine. I’m starting to worry that we’re getting it skewed. As many as 1 in 3 (my dad is my source here, I have to go look it up obviously) pregnancies end in Ceasarians these days, which to me, honestly, is just alien. I know its necessary sometimes and probably saves a lot of lives, but there’s no way that 33% of women need to get cut open to have a baby. I also was thinking about being very young in the mid 1990s in Albnay and there basically being a witch-hunt against midwives that destroyed a lot of wonderful women’s livelihoods and gave a whole community of parents a bad rap for preferring home birthing methods. Things have changed, as they always do, but the public’s understanding of birth and labor and the midwife is still based on a health system that, while undergoing major changes, has been built on white men’s…er…rubber gloves.

2. My lovely boyfriend went to Indonesia and I was/am extremely excited for him, what with him living in the jungle and going scuba diving. Unfortunately, the only thing I was even slightly worried about was his sensitive skin, and sure enough he is coming home early with an itchy neck and an ear infection (hence, no more scuba diving). I know 4 weeks is still awesome, I just really hope he doesn’t only remember the “getting sick” part and end up resenting such a unique experience in a place I am far from ever being able to visit. Lucky kid. I hope he knows it ;).

3. I’ve started to notice then when I get stressed/angry, I clean vigorously. It sounds kind of fucked up but at least its productive. Yeah roomies, I cleaned the kitchen today. Even the stovetop. You’re welcome 🙂

4. I “don’t smoke cigarettes” but I made some exceptions for special events this summer, mostly Camp Bisco which was AWESOME. Un/fortunately, someone there gave me a pack of “dirty hippy” Pall Malls and I feel obligated to finish them before I stop officially. Maybe its OCD. Mostly I just felt the need to live up to the “dirty hippy” label I eagerly accepted for a free pack. Don’t judge.

5. Camp Bisco. Yessss. My favorites shows were all the shows I saw. Tops? Bassnectar, Mimosa, Big Gigantic, Beats Antique.

6. All my dreams have been ridiculous. Not always in subject matter so much as DETAILED conversations with characters as specific as: a bike gang in San Francisco who spoke in Nordic verse and had Viking names; a little girl who accidentally walked in on me trying to pee in a public restroom and laughing at all the layers of clothes I had to arrange post-urination; my car, which in waking life is on its last legs and in my San Fran dream was a FOLD-UP collapsible fully functioning auto. It was awesome until I had to run from armed terrorists lugging it up and down SF hills. Speaking of dreams, SEE INCEPTION. ‘Nuff said.

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